I don't write because everything I think about Is already understood; I don't need to write more.

I don't write because there are people who can say what I have to say much better than I.

I don't write because even when I know that I should write, what I should write, that I must write, I know that I will be misunderstood and dismissed by so many.

I don't write because I can't think straight sometimes; because I can't find my words; because I lose the freedom of not doubting myself.

I don’t write because maybe I'm crazy.

I don't write because I believe in unusual things. A lot of people believe in unusual things, but it's embarrassing to write about them.

I don't write because I just don’t care. In the shadow of my secret Self, not caring is my standard escape. The freedom from anxiety that so many find so elusive is a crumb from a meal I already ate.

I don’t write because sometimes, the careful, focused effort feels like a fancy dress my mother wants me to wear.

I don't write because I know that it doesn't matter what I think now. Or yesterday. Or when I was 10. Or when I'll be 90. It's all one thing. And knowing that, there is nothing that needs to be said.

I say I don’t write because I don’t care, but that’s not always true. I often don’t write because I forget. I forget to care, I forget to write. I’ve found hundreds of little cards and notes written over the last thirty years or more, all tiny little notes to help me remember. I know I’ll forget; I know I won’t care. But I try to leave reminders. That’s not writing, is it?

I don't write because I have secrets and I don’t know if I am supposed to share them. Surely they have their own secrets. Writing about them would feel like an arrogant attempt to explain what can only be experienced.

I don't write because it's so much suffering, and shouldn't I let it fade to memory, to prepare for the next suffering? I can endure anything when my eye is on the pretty flower, or the shy look on a tall man’s face; I can walk straight into it.

I don't write because maybe I'm wrong? I need to write anyway.